I became a marriage counselor by necessity.
When I entered the world of clients and interior design, there were a lot of aspects about the job that I never considered. Finding a bong tucked away behind a piece of office furniture was a real treat! These unexpected, shocking, hilarious moments combined with seeing my little creation of a space come to life are what make the tougher moments worth it. However, these are not the only ‘behind the scenes moments’ I am exposed to. I get the distinct pleasure of watching a husband jump into the design process, invest an interest and really want to have input in the home that he is trying to build with his wife. I also get to watch this poor man get shut down. I also experience the husband that would rather not participate in one aspect of the design process until he realizes…… dun dun dun…..the antique bowl displayed on his coffee table was the price of the golf driver he has been wanting.
I often tell clients that if you can make it through remodeling your home, you can make it through anything. So here are my two cents on how to survive this trying time. Some of these suggestions may also help the single male trying to make his new home the perfect bachelor pad.
It all starts and ends with the MAN CAVE!
If you have the money, give your fella a man cave. If you don’t have the money- at the very least give him a room or the back porch. This sounds easy, but it is not. When I say “give” I mean full on- zero wife input- kinda give. Acceptance is the most difficult part because it could mean deer heads hanging everywhere, seating with cup holders, interior golfing or a gym- decked with high school throwback jerseys- that you are pretty confident he will not use . I know, I know it sounds gut wrenching, but this is a fair trade for the rest of the home….. trust me. Ladies repeat after me, “that is his space, not my space, that is his space, not my space.”
TOP 3 Criteria For a Successful Mancave
1. Create a section for their activity of choice. It could be extravagant or it could be something simple like a pool table, a card table or a dart board. Regardless of the activity you can help him make this look good. Go as neutral as possible but when this is not possible roll with it and find a part of the room where it can fade and draw the eye to objects you want displayed first. The trick to doing this is to walk into the space and take note of where your eyes go first, second and third. Put the games in the third zone. If it is a beautiful pool table it is ok to place it in zone one.
2. Go dark and “non-fluffy.” I always recommend going dark in a man cave (doors, floors, ceiling,)- after all, it is a cave. Urbane Bronze is my all time fav dark paint color. This is also a great space to get creative. Materials such as wood, PVC pipe, and metals look great in a man cave. Non-fluffy furniture can be comfortable. Go for straight lines, down filled cushions, and back cushions that are not attached. Also try to avoid anything brown microsuede.
3. TV’s, TV’s, TV’s. The more TV’s the better. Yep! You heard me correctly.
So, now you know the key to remodeling in peace is the man cave- or at least the promise of a man cave. And just for fun I will let you in on a few more secrets:
1. Don’t hang a bunch of quotes around your home. Guys don’t like it. Likely, it reminds them of their mom’s home and most men don’t want to face the possibility that they married their mother, it’s the Oedipus complex.
2. Go with a neutral color scheme. You will get farther with this rule than any other.
3. NO pinkish floral patterns. Save the flowers for vases.
4. If none of this works, give me a call.