Chip and I absolutely love answering your questions on the Edge part of the Velvet’s Edge Podcast. As always keep them coming to [email protected] or DM me @velvetsedge or Chip @chipdorsch on Instagram!
As you know, we are not claiming to be experts! Just friends with honest opinions and advice!
One of the listener emails we addressed in this week’s podcast came from Haleigh:
“My biggest secret is I don’t know what I’m doing – from kissing to having sex. And I’ve heard it all before – everyone’s gotta start somewhere; there’s a learning curve; practice makes perfect.
My exposure is limited because I honestly haven’t been with a lot of people. I feel like a kid admitting this, but most of what I know is from the movies, girl talks, magazine articles, and porn. And again, I’ve heard it all before – sometimes you only hear about the good – not the bad and the ugly; everyone’s different; don’t compare yourself to the movie magic – especially porn.
My biggest insecurity is having sex. I do have a boyfriend and we’ve been steady for a good minute. He’s not really the source of my insecurity – but I think I may have inadvertently become the source of his. Why? Because he asked and I answered – I don’t think I’ve had an orgasm with him. But truthfully, I don’t know if I’ve ever had an orgasm.
I’m thankful my boyfriend and I can talk openly about this topic. He’s definitely been with more people than me, but lately, I’ve realized that he’s not exactly an expert either. His idea of foreplay is rubbing my clit for 30 seconds like he’s trying to start a fire. And I don’t hold that against him because I think he’s also just doing what he’s learned from other people, movies, and porn.
I guess I’m writing this part as a confessional for myself, part as a “you’re not alone” for others, and part for advice from you and Chip.
Please advise! We’re open to suggestions. We’ve even talked about exploring different foreplay like sensual massage, different positions (still looking through the Kama Sutra for inspiration), and different environments – although based on your previous podcasts, I don’t think we’re aquatic sex people … “
As far as sex advice, we both agree that figuring out your own personal likes and dislikes individually first is a very important step. Below we linked some things that might help get that started…
Listen to the full episode on Apple and Spotify or wherever you get your podcast!