I think I speak for everyone when I say, this week has been a struggle. The holidays are over and suddenly we’re expected to WORK 8 hours a day. Wtf is that? Plus I set toast on fire yesterday. My point is, bear with me today.
President Obama just announced a series of executive actions on gun control. The new laws would require background checks for gun sales even in the case of gun shows and small dealers. Predictably, some people are pissed. That list includes but is not limited to Republican politicians, future instigators of road rage incidents, gun dealers, would-be school shooters, the NRA and my dad.
This is why your boyfriend’s beard is red, even if his hair isn’t.
North Korea is detonating hydrogen bombs, according to North Korea. This claim has been met with skepticism by the international defense community, which doubts the country has the necessary nuclear capabilities (yet). However, some sort of nuclear test DID occur off the North Korean coast yesterday. While nuclear weapons in the hands of an insane dictator is most definitely bad news, the good news is that Friday is Kim Jong Un’s birthday. And who would start World War III on their birthday?
Amy Schumer has a boyfriend. Don’t go soft on us, Amy. Love is stupid.
HAHA kidding. I’m SO happy for her. :/
What I hate this week: Chipotle is under investigation by the federal government after a record year of making people sick with various intestinal diseases. I have two thoughts on this. The first is that Chipotle is the primary subject of Shit You Should Know. Like this is basically a Chipotle newsletter. And I don’t apologize for that.
The second is, by now we’ve all seen Making a Murderer, so are Americans really going to trust the government to investigate our beloved burrito place in a fair and just manner? Hell no.
What I love this week: We need to talk about Kevin is on Netflix. It’s dark and thought-provoking and actually the book is better, but who reads anything anymore?
Only two work days left. You can do it.
See you next week.