In the News: Shit You Should Know

Good evening. It’s finally March, which means it’s almost SPRING. This is when I should suggest that we all stop eating cheeseburgers and start thinking about beach body workouts…

But that’s Olivia’s job. So carry on, ladies.

A girl in the UK was hospitalized for toxic shock syndrome after forgetting she had a tampon in for 9 days. If you want this incident seared into your brain for eternity, click the link for details. Otherwise, no matter what you’re going through, be thankful you’ve never made international news because of your vagina.

Yesterday was a big day….for Donald Trump. Experts predicted his campaign wouldn’t last long, then that he wouldn’t win any delegates, and next that he definitely couldn’t win the Republican nomination. Clearly Donald has been underestimated from the start, and the Republican party is in crisis mode. Having failed to produce a candidate who can defeat him, party leaders are currently championing the “anyone but Trump” last ditch effort. You get the leader you deserve, America, and maybe it’s time we acknowledge the inevitability of that spray-tanned, beauty pageant owning, reality TV host becoming our next President.

Cancel all your weekend plans. House of Cards, Season 4 will be released Friday on Netflix. I never thought manipulative and homicidal Frank Underwood would be a welcome escape from the reality of the American political process, but here we are.

What I hate this week: Erin Andrews cried on the stand while discussing the nude video of her that was leaked online in 2009 by her stalker. Andrews is suing the Marriott hotel that booked the man into the room next to hers without her knowledge or consent. It’s difficult to determine the most disgusting part of this trial, but the tight race is between the Marriott attorney’s attempts to paint this traumatic experience as a career opportunity and Andrews’ claims that ESPN forced her to do a television interview about the incident before allowing her back to work.

What I love this week: Velvet’s Edge wants to wish the current soundtrack to our lives, Justin Bieber, a happy 22nd birthday. To celebrate, here’s a video from The Ellen Show that takes us on a journey from the boy he was to the….boy he remains.

Happy Wednesday!

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