In the News: Shit You Should Know

Welcome back to Shit You Should Know. It’s a snow day in Nashville, but I still spent the morning reading the entire internet for you guys. #martyr.

Living up to the old saying that death comes in threes, David Bowie, Glenn Frey, and Alan Rickman all passed this week. Who are you saddest about? In other words, to whom did you devote the ultimate tribute—your Facebook status update? I’m going with Severus Snape, which is embarrassing but true.

In a match made in Hell, Sarah Palin officially endorsed Donald Trump yesterday. Here’s a video where she supports Trump’s ability to “kick ISIS ass” in her screeching Fargo accent. I didn’t think anything could make me sympathize with ISIS, but here we are. (JK, people.)

In related news the Islamic State just announced a 50% pay cut for its fighters, which makes me wonder, what do jihadists spend their money on? Luxe headgear? Apple watches? Premium LinkedIn accounts?? Who knows, but hopefully they’ll all quit in protest. I hear IKEA is hiring.

2015 was the warmest year since 1880—a result of the combination of climate change and the strongest El Nino since 1997. NASA is predicting that 2016 will be even warmer, so we could have another 70 degree Christmas to look forward to. With that said, let’s move on to the most important takeaway, which is…

What I love this week: What are you going to wear in our future tropical climate? Spring clothes are arriving in stores already. As a result I’ve purchased two bikinis and added to my extensive cut-off shorts collection (because in Tennessee you need a pair for every occasion). From now until April, whenever you need your mood lifted, just go to and search for rompers. Then fantasize about sipping mimosas on a patio with the sun on your face. Who TF needs a therapist?

What I hate this week: The Burmese python hunt commenced in the Everglades on Saturday. This month-long competition brings in hunters from all over the world in an attempt get the invasive species under control. The 2013 hunt resulted in only 68 dead pythons, which is a tiny drop in the bucket of the estimated 100,000 pythons living in the Everglades. Since first appearing in 1979, pythons have decimated the small mammal population by as much as 99%. This entire paragraph was brought to you by my worst nightmares.

Happy Wednesday, snowflakes. Stay warm.


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