In the News: Shit You Should Know

YAWN.  Good morning y’all. It’s Wednesday, which means you are halfway to freedom.  I hope you’re planning a weekend full of wine and naps like I am.

The state of South Carolina is experiencing a “historic flooding event,” with the death toll at 15 and expected to rise.  Thousands have evacuated their homes due to floodwaters and thousands more, including students at the University of South Carolina, are without running water.  Residents are being asked to boil water before drinking it.  This hurdle alone would result in the deaths of a few people I know who can’t operate a stove.  The situation is so dire USC is considering foregoing home field advantage to move its game against LSU Saturday.  This link offers ways to volunteer your time or donate.

American Apparel filed for bankruptcy this week on the heels of ousting its creepy CEO and plummeting sales.  Don’t panic!  This move will (hopefully) allow the company to continue operating as usual.  Thank God, because AA is my go-to for crop tops, and since I’m still wearing those at 30 I’ll probably be buried in one.  Plus, where else would you buy novelty items like full body catsuits, USA scrunchies and metallic disco pants to complete your Halloween costume?

Speaking of Halloween costumes…

What I hate this week:  Halloween.  Specifically, attempting to come up with a costume for Halloween.  In college, we just put on minimal clothing and got drunk.

Do you like my costume? I’m a hunter.

You’re wearing a bikini…

It’s a CAMO print bikini.

But now that I’m a certifiable adult, there’s so much pressure.  Look cute but not slutty.  Do something clever but not obscure… or worse, OFFENSIVE.  No doubt this pressure is why so many women just phone it in and go as cats.  I don’t have any answers, kittens, but what I would say is aim higher.  You don’t have to be a sexy flight attendant- you can fly the damn plane.

What I love this week:  Take 30 minutes of your Wednesday and waste it by browsing this Overheard in LA Instagram account.  You don’t have to live in LA to appreciate the absurdity.  My favorite:

“If the Pope visited LA I don’t think people would care. Maybe in Orange County… But not here. Caitlyn Jenner is our pope.” 

Let’s get a Nashville one started ASAP. The opportunities are endless.

See you next Wednesday, people. I’ll be dressed as a sexy cat.


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