In the News: Shit You Should Know

Welcome back to Shit You Should Know. I have to warn you that today’s news is emotional. We’ve got dead gorillas, female WWII pilots denied military burials, heroes stopping rapes… I mean, I’m just trying to keep it together in this coffee shop.

First up on stories that made me cry in public… Three women were denied a request to have their 95-year-old grandmother Elaine Harmon, a member of the Army’s first female squadron, buried in Arlington National Cemetery last year. While the Department of Veteran’s Affairs has recognized the female pilots who flew test, training, and reconnaissance missions during WWII as veterans since the 1970s, the Army didn’t. Thankfully the granddaughters were undeterred, and last week the Women Airforce Service Pilots Air Act was signed by President Obama. Finally, Elaine Harmon will be laid to rest where she belongs—with her fellow servicemen and women.

Three women in Santa Monica stopped an attempted rape after witnessing a guy putting something in his date’s drink while she was in the bathroom. One of them followed the girl into the bathroom to tell her and was surprised to find out the two were not on a date but were actually close friends. This seems shocking, but the sad fact is most assaults are committed by people you know. Keep your girl friends close, and your drinks closer. The whole story is worth a read, especially for the awesome ending where a rapist gets what he deserves…

which is to be calmly apprehended with enough evidence to convict him. What did you think I meant?

By now everyone on earth has heard about Harambe the gorilla being shot after a 3 year old boy fell into his enclosure. I won’t rehash the details here, but I would like to remind everyone what an accident is. Here’s the definition from Merriam-Webster:

Accident (n):  a sudden event that is not planned or intended and that causes damage or injury.

It’s also important to remember that we are capable of holding two seemingly conflicting thoughts in our brains at the same time. (Even apes can do this!) So it is possible to both feel sad the gorilla was killed and recognize that it was the only way to ensure the boy wasn’t. There are worse possible outcomes. Just ask this family.

What I love this week: As an apology for all the heavy shit, here’s a frolicking horse straight out of your middle school dreams. I’ve watched this video 6 times and reached the only possible conclusion: that horse has better hair than me.

Happy Wednesday.


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