In the News: Shit You Should Know

Good evening and welcome back. I finally caught up on the new season of Game of Thrones last night, so let’s begin with a quote from the wisest dwarf in Westeros:

That’s what I do. I drink and I know things.

SAME, Tyrion. Thanks for the new official tagline of Shit You Should Know.

Attempting to wade through all of the depressing shit that you definitely do not need to know made my job difficult this week. And trust me, there was ALOTOF IT.

That doesn’t even include the fact that Nashville was canceled. But the show’s demise isn’t really bad news. Maybe it will help stem the tide of transplants to Music City and leave some overpriced condos for the rest of us. Connie Britton can stay though.

Harry Styles, lead heartthrob of defunct boy band One Direction, has cut off his hair, and like the biblical Samson, lost his greatest asset in the process. Now he looks like the bass player in a wedding jazz ensemble. The world mourns.

TSA has accomplished the impossible and made flying even more miserable this month. Tighter security measures and a shortage of employees has led to long lines at the nation’s busiest airports, with some passengers waiting as long as 3 hours to get through security. Unfortunately there’s no relief in sight.  Travel volume is ramping up for the summer, and TSA will need to hire and train 6,000 new agents to alleviate the problem. Passengers are mad at the airlines, airlines are mad at TSA, TSA is mad at Congress, but let’s direct our anger toward the people who got us here in the first place: Terrorists. Those assholes ruin everything.

What I hate (?) this week: Actually, someone tell me how to feel about this. There’s a new tampon in development that alerts you when it’s time for a new one. The monitor connects to an extra long tampon string that you then have to attach to… your underwear? your belt loop? your belly button ring?? Not sure how that works exactly…

What’s that for? Are you counting your steps? 

Nope,  that’s my tampon sensor. 

On the one hand, this seems like an unnecessary piece of technology, kind of like my car’s rear view camera. On the other hand, now that I have one, how TF does anyone function without a rear view camera? Regardless, for the time being, we can handle our bodily functions without the help of technology.

What I love this week: The new season of Orange is the New Black comes out on June 18th. So at least you’ll have something to do while standing in the airport security line.

See you guys next week.


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