Welcome back to Shit You Should Know, Snowpocalypse edition. Due to my refusal to take the weather forecast seriously, I was forced to eat eggs for every meal and lost 4 pounds last weekend. I could call it the egg diet (clever), but it really falls under the broader category of “starvation.” Regardless, my experience has led to an exciting and foolproof business plan.
1. Eat eggs.
2. Lose weight.
3. PROFIT.
Super Bowl 50 is coming up on February 7th. That gives you a week and a half to perfect your buffalo chicken dip. The match-up is between the Denver Broncos and the Carolina Panthers, or more importantly, Peyton vs. Cam.
Apologies in advance for the next paragraph, but we’ll get through it together. Blac Chyna —baby mama and ex of Kylie Jenner’s current boyfriend Tyga— is allegedly dating Rob Kardashian. Two thoughts on this: 1. The letter Y as a vowel has become an epidemic (epydemyc?) and 2. Rob has clearly gone rogue. No doubt the rest of the Kardashians are pissed. I just hope he’s found a safe space.
Donald Trump announced he will most likely sit out Thursday’s Fox News debate due to his insane and irrational dislike of anchor and moderator Megyn Kelly. Kelly previously questioned Trump about his negative comments on women. This is a missed opportunity for a man who has more experience with angry, hot blondes than all of the other candidates combined.
What I hate this week: This is Lori. Lori is bored AF with those stick figures on her newsfeed. She prays this meme meets a swift and violent end. Lori is smart. Be like Lori.
…and get back to posting the important things, like your Buzzfeed quiz results. What’s your favorite snack based on your astrological sign? I got Doritos. SPOOKY.
What I love this week: Only female Senators showed up to work after the blizzard.
While it’s comforting to have such dedicated women running the country, the lack of men in the Capitol building yesterday brings up a larger issue. It’s time we stop asking the age old question, “Can men have it all?” and start challenging the barriers that prevent men from successfully juggling work and family.
The matriarchy is so ingrained, even our pop songs are sexist. After all, who run the world?
Happy Wednesday, girls.
Two days left. Hang in there.
-Lori
Lori, your column is so funny. The letter Y as a vowel and can men have it all?!…that was too good.
Thank you for commenting and the support. 🙂