In the News: Shit You Should Know

Welcome back to Shit You Should Know. This is the women-laughing-with-coffee edition, because that’s what I did all yesterday afternoon for the header pic.

This week has been marked by Ben Carson vs. the media over several of Carson’s questionable stories, but my favorite is the hot debate over whether he stabbed a friend when he was 14. Carson attacked a friend over changing the radio station, or a classmate who was bullying him, or a relative over… something. Doesn’t matter.

The point is Ben Carson STABBED someone, but the knife broke and that’s how he went on to become a neurosurgeon with a house full of paintings of himself. (That batshit insane sentence brought to you by the Republican primary race.) Shit You Should Know is not trying to get political, but I gotta say, I like this guy, and my mom is going to love the commissioned portrait of me and Jesus I got her for Christmas. Also, America really needs the Democratic candidates to step it up in entertainment value.

In other nonsensical headlines, Mizzou is burning. It started with several racist incidents on campus that went unaddressed by the administration, which, in addition to student life issues like the threat of taking away graduate student health insurance, led one student to go on a hunger strike. Then the entire football team went on strike in support. Now the University of Missouri system president has resigned, the Mizzou chancellor will step down at the end of the year, and students are protesting in the quad—where attempts to keep the media out have been rightfully met with derision and anger.

So far only 3 people have lost their jobs, but the clear solution to every problem is to fire EVERYONE.

Or stop being racist. That might help.

What I hate this week: A Colorado high school has discovered what is being called a “sexting ring,” where nude photos with differing point values are traded between students in some sick update to handing out wallet-sized yearbook photos. THE YOUTHS THESE DAYS. Don’t worry, I’m not going to get puritanical on you, but I just want to share a message with teen girls…

Those high school guys you’re trying so hard to impress are not worth your time. Right now you think it’s harmless but in a few years with some perspective, you are going to REALLY regret that old high school classmate who is now a line cook at Applebee’s having nude photos of 17 year-old you. It won’t matter that he was the quarterback once he’s gained 35 pounds and you’re dodging him at Wal-Mart on Christmas break. Just cut that shit out.

What I love this week: Global Warming. KIDDING. Sort of. It’s November 11th and the temperature in Nashville will reach 70 degrees today. It’s also Veterans Day. So take the day off like our government employees, thank a Veteran, and enjoy today because you can.

Happy Wednesday.


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